A clerihew should never be confused with a limerick. According to wikipedia:

A clerihew has the following properties:

It is biographical and usually whimsical, showing the subject from an unusual point of view; it mostly pokes fun at famous people
It has four lines of irregular length and metre (for comic effect)
The rhyme structure is AABB; the subject matter and wording are often humorously contrived in order to achieve a rhyme, including the use of phrases in Latin, French and other non-English languages
The first line contains, and may consist solely of, the subject's name. According to a letter in the Spectator in the 1960s, Bentley said that a true clerihew has to have the name "at the end of the first line", as the whole point was the skill in rhyming awkward names.

Its eponymous originator, Edmund Clerihew Bentley, came up with this famous early prototype:

"Sir Christopher Wren
Said, 'I am going to dine with some men.
If anyone calls
Say I am designing St. Paul's'."

Using these rules and example as your guide can you provide your own? I'll get the ball rolling with ...

"George Dubbleyah Bush
Was once known as a lush
Shi'ite, Sunni and Druze
Wish he'd stayed on the booze"

Queen Marie Antoinette
Grabbed all the francs that she could get.
So no-one else had any dough
And had to subsist on gateau.

Richard Rorty
Could be everso naughty;
But he wasn't the joker
Who biffed his mate with a poker.

Isambard Kingdom Brunel
Had a theory about feeling well
He said "If of good health you dream
It is vital to let off some steam!"

Richard Plantaganet
Was in a bit of a set
When he called for a horse
Only to lose it all in due course.

or

Richard the Third
Was a bit of a turd
Two little boys knew so
Much to their woe.

Queen Elizabeth, the first of that name
Was partial to sweetmeats now and again.
Suckets, marchpane ... a glass of sack,
And that is why her teeth were black.

Aristotle
Often wanted to throttle
Alexander the Great
That little bolshie lightweight.

Very good Temp  

Henry Tudor
Longed to be ruder;
But sadly his mum
Kept him well under the thumb.

Charles the First
Had a thirst
For power.
But now it's o'er.

Catherine the Great
Craved a soul mate.
She had a cat, dogs ... and a beloved horse.
(But we don't mention that of course).

MM - you have already been sent to the naughty pillar once this week.

His Enormousness
Was once in a mess
And endured much flack
When stuck in the catflap

Fanny Brawne
Took Keats' heart by storm.
Such a cutie in her bonnet,
He just had to put her in a sonnet.

Mary Fitton
Was a Tudor sex kitten.
She gave Will a good time
And so got put in a rhyme.

Charles Darwin
Committed a sin
Saying one could see
Mankind came from a chimpanzee.

His Highness Prince Albert of York
Didn't often like to t t t talk,
Or say what he r r r really meant,
B b b b because of his speech impediment.

King Louis Quatorzième
Favoured "Sun" as his petit surnom
And remarked to all who might care
"Elle brillait plus de mon derriere!"

Richard, Duke of Gloucester
Had a notion he'd like to foster
He tried it for a spell
But it didn't end so well

French king Louis, the sixteen
Had a date with madame Guillotine.
He just wanted a shave and a number 1 crop,
But ended up with the full head chop.

Julius Caesar
Such a big-headed geezer
Vain, but not weedy
He's got a huge page on Wiki.

(Bit tortured, will probably revise later.)

Queen Cleopatra, a Ptolemy,
Had a fling with Marcus Anthony.
He loved her till she took her last gasp
Bitten by a poisonous asp.

Mickey Rooney
Died too soon, he
Played adolescents
Till he was thirty seven

Edward the second was a rum bugger,
Not a man for rough sports like rugger.
Preferred guys to girls - causing much strife,
So he was done in by Isabella his wife.

The emperor Elagabalus,
Thought himself especially gallus,
When he cracked open a flagon
To toast his whores drawn wagon.

Plato:
Way too
Clever.
As ever.

René Descartes
Would not have liked Sartre
And his silly insistence
On there being no existence

General George Armstrong Custer
Called his troopers to muster
He thought he was good
But in trial by battle was Siouxed

Emperor Frederick Barbarossa,
In full armour tried to cross a
River. His horse slipped on the wet ground.
Frederick drowned.

Marie de Guise
Thought it an excellent wheeze
To shout out: "He's poxed!"
At an embarrassed John Knox.

Jules Ceasar beat Vercingetorix
By using rather better tricks.
'Cos 'in testudo' Roman cohorts
Could take o'er Gallic hill forts.

Saul of Tarsus,
Fell on his arsus,
And thought "It's official,
I must change my initial".

Marie Curie
Of molecular fury
Set aside her isotope
To give Pierre a loving grope

Little Prince George
With his parents came to forge
A trip to NZ,
Where he was feted, fawned on and fed.

Mark Antony
Just couldn't see
That by cavorting with the Queen
Octavius would vent his spleen

Henry, Lord Bolingbroke,
Not the king, but another bloke,
Was a Tory grandee of remarkable wit
Whose enemies, alas, called a bit of a sh*t.

(MM, I'm sending myself to the N.P. now for using a vulgar word - see I'm firm but fair.)

Anthony Blair
Showed his Christian flair
When he donned some khakis
And murdered Iraqis

I've just learnt a new word. The following is not, by the way, an attempt at a Clerihew, just an idle rhyme:

I was trying to do
A Clerihew
For that dreadful man Dawkins
And came across mawkin.

But it doesn't work - although I suppose you could work in the plural, mawkins, somehow.


mawkin (ˈmɔːkɪn)
n
1.  (Animals) a variant of malkin

2.
a. a slovenly woman

b. a scarecrow

(Sorry for interrupting the flow. Feel free to delete if irritation is worse than usual.   )

Regarding Professor Dawkins'
Interminable squawkings
It is best to be Christian and meek
And display an alternative cheek

Squawkings/Dawkins - oh why didn't I think of that?

Thank you, Your Enormousness - you have a generous spirit (sometimes   ).

Christopher Hitchens
Despite all his bitchings
While permanently pissed
Is now sorely missed

Professor David Starkey
Made this history malarkey
So easy and cool
For us all - wise man or fool.

Away win William
At Hastings pastings
With penalty kicks
  It was   10-66

Lucius Cornelius Sulla
Had a craving for moola
He proscribed the aristocracy
And spiked their heads for all to see

Gaius Julius Caesar
Was a very important geezer
Thought he could rival Zeus
In his fancy red boots.

Old Ma Carole Middleton
Star gran metropolitan
Can't help feeling smuggy
She's got a Prince in that buggy!

Poor Nero Germanicus
Is now thought to be tyrannicus
Thanks to many an old codex
By scriptoræ somewhat mendax

They said George the Third
Was a batty old bird
But what's really the harm in
A king who loves farmin'?

As for the outrageous Caligula
Regina dramatica maxima
He honoured his horse
A real tour de force!