And that's the lot! Well done to everyone who managed to fast forward the faces to their non-cherubic form!
Number 36
Big sis Shirley Maclaine and little bro Warren Beatty, having undergone relative size inversions in the meantime.
Number 1
Deutschlands "mutter" indeed, Angela Merkel
Number 24
He looked stroppy and bad-tempered as a kid and so he grew up to be ... well, Kaiser Wilhelm II.
Number 33
In between we believe he did actually have hair for a while - the Shakespearian thespian who boldly went where a pay-cheque could be got for a bit of ham, Patrick Stewart.
Number 28
Too easy this one - he was apparently born 50+ years old with a sense of empathy as long as his hyphen and a sense of entitlement as long as himself. The reclining mantis and Beano character himself, Jacob Rees-Mogg
Number 35
The man who did for sci-fi films what Scientology does for brain cells - one-time disco craze and thick grease-ball, now no longer a disco craze, John Travolta
Number 21
The UK's most popular hyper talk-show talker (or in Ireland simply referred to as a Corkman) Graham Norton
Number 4
The "I can play any role as long as it's a Cumberband" man himself - Benedict Cumberbatch
Number 18
Not quite as thonkers as they bought him allegedly - renowned farmer, colony loser, and all-round inbred bricklayer, George III of some kip called Hanover (near England apparently)
Number 3
Much more than just a bubbly gangster moll with two principal assets - product of the respected Aida Foster School of Acting in Golders Green, actor Barbara Windsor
Number 6
The imitation buffoon, lackey of the moneyed elite, and evolutionary aberration which the Darwinian process has been doing its damnedest lately to correct - the "Man Who Would Be Boris" Johnson
Number 9
The big question being "Who got custody of the tattoo artist?" - alleged actor though now full time celebrity-minus-the-cerebrity professional divorcee, Brad Pitt
Number 11
Yes, we're looking at you Bob! Taxi driver turned restaurateur with an illustrious career as tough guy impersonator in between, though nowadays mostly a Robert De Niro impersonator - Robert Anthony De Niro
Number 30
A career whose undoubted peak was as support act for ABBA in the 1974 Eurovision Song Contest, this one time Xanaduian has since overcome much personal tragedy, including being cast opposite John Travolta in "Grease" - Olivia Newton John
Number 32
Ex-condiment, mother of a New York borough, wife of the helium-voice eejit whose flailing appendage cost England the 1998 World Cup, and fashion trend setter who has ensured that even the humblest allotment beanpole can now be chic - Victoria "Posh" Beckham
Number 37
The woman who, with Charles Manson, was blamed for ending the 60s and therefore hastening the advent of Little Jimmy Osmond, elephant flares, and pop culture highlights such as "Agadoo doo-doo" - conceptual artist and warbler extraordinaire, Yoko Ono
Number 16
Can't sing and can't act - just the ingredients these days for attaining worldwide stage and screen success. A guy indistinguishable from the CGI surrounding him in every film in which he "stars" (as in "occupies space"), Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson
Number 19
One of England's most successful footballers whose achievements amounted to one Spanish cup, one defunct European cup, a metal boot, and a crisp flavour named after him. Gary Lineker's pride in "never being booked" continued into his lucrative TV career and choice of personal accountants, as the Barbados tax authorities found to their cost.
Number 2
The man who proved to the world the dangers involved in steroids abuse and potential brain damage (one could end up Governor of California), and revered in Japan where short-sightedness is a common problem as "Shwa-chan" (cute little Schwartzie) - Arnold Alois Schwartzenegger
Number 31
Dubbed "The Queen of Sci-Fi" because she has starred in an astounding four films of the genre (last in 1997), the woman whose first name alone would have left her a Holocaust statistic in Nazi Germany - Sigourney Weaver
Number 14
Up there with Kray, Varney and "Fall And Rise Of ..." as one of the England's most famous Reggies and whose recent hit movie biopic was brutally honest about his own worst vices, including alcohol and drug abuse, Princess Di fandom, helping make The Lion King etc - the venerable Dame Elton John (did I get that right?)
Number 27
The man with a passion for all things vintage - his cars, his house, his wine, his bodyguards' IQ levels - and with a wife to prove it, president of a country that Brexiteers deride and live in with equal determination, and officially one half of an Andorran Prince duo - Emmanuel Jean-Michel Frédéric Macron
Number 17
She may not have been born this way, but there are a million reasons why this perfect illusion of a tramp, no matter how shallow, is rightly recognised by papparazzi and poker-face alike as one Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta - or, as the world knows her, Lady Gaga
Number 5
The 78 year-old who came off second best to a 77 year-old in the race to oust a 73 year-old presently squatting at an address in Philadelphia Avenue (enough to make you wonder if the US truly has a great future behind it) - Bernard "No Middle Initial" Sanders
Number 8
Not quite the face that launched a thousand ships, more the voice that sank one 50,000 tonne liner. "My Heart Will Go On" she wailed, even as everyone in the cinema fervently prayed for a cardiac arrest - Canada's titanic songstress (emphasis on "stress") herself, Celine Dion
Number 7
The man whose rifle-toting hands are now well and truly both cold and dead, who famously ordered Yul Brynner to let his extras go, and who found a much improved version of New York while out horse-riding on a beach - John Charles Carter (better known to apes of a higher IQ as Charlton Heston)
Number 22
In the news most recently (at least in Berkshire) after he and his internationally renowned human rights lawyer wife Amal won what must be their most significant legal achievement to date - the locally contested right to build an outside loo in their back garden; George Timothy Clooney
Number 23
No stranger to being publicly decorated - from strategically attached bananas to the Légion d'Honneur- the dancer, actress, WWII Resistance spy, and such a valiant champion of civil rights for blacks that she was barred entry to her home country the USA - St Louis-born Freda McDonald, who the world would come to know and admire as Josephine Baker
Number 34
His violence these days seemingly confined mostly to his literary output (his recent novel has the protagonist brutally murdering old-age pensioners with a mallet to reduce his carbon footprint - no, seriously, it does), one-time "Hollywood Hard Man" and beloved of paparazzi insurance sellers, Sean Justin Penn
Number 10
Everybody loves somebody sometime, and Dino Paul Crocetti certainly tested this "amore" theory quite rigorously in his own love life. Yet, fairly uniquely for Hollywwod legends of his era, not even his several ex-wives (or indeed mistresses, offspring, colleagues, Jerry Lewis etc) had a bad word to say about him when he died in 1995 - the very un-ratlike Dean Martin
Number 12
The man who saved Britain from the Euro, then Europe, and now democracy; whose Joe 90 spectacles, having already helped him acquire the brain patterns of a strategist, an economist, disaster capitalist and information technologist, have now apparently qualified him as a virologist, the self-declared mastermind behind Boris Johnson's now understandably abandoned policy of involuntary euthanasia a.k.a. "herd immunity" - Dominic Cummings
Number 13
Living testimony to the success of self-taught, self-administered taxidermy (it's the quantity of the chemicals, not the quality), the man whose father may or may not have got up his nose, and probably the one individual on the planet who Covid-19 has absolutely no intention of ever setting foot in for fear of its little half-life - Keith Richards
Number 15
Whisky (without the "e") advocate, supporter of priests marrying (presumably women) as long as they live in the Amazon, the guy who says his church should welcome gays (to confession), and who generally has set his mind to dragging the Vatican kicking and screaming into the 18th century - Jorge Mario Bergoglio, the first non-European pope since Syria had a crack at it 1,300 years ago, known to the world as Pope Francis I
Number 20
She's been QE 1, QE 2, Queen Charlotte, Catherine the Great, and even the Snow Queen in her time - and when not dressed regally prefers not to be dressed at all, apparently. One of the world's best known (and loved) naturists, who else could it be but the prime suspect herself - Helen Mirren?
Number 29
As a misogynist anyway Trump has to notch the levels of abuse ever so much higher for this lady who is only one Pence away from president should something unfortunate ever fortunately happen to the other two. "Crazy", "retarded", and (weirdly enough) "a man" (amongst other stuff we're not allowed print as children may be reading) have all been levelled by the orange one against the current House Speaker, Nancy Patricia Pelosi
Number 26
The farce has always been strong with this one - Wolverhampton Wanderers supporter, author of the Black Pearl graphic novel series, president of the Laurel & Hardy Society, member of the Royal Society of Chemistry, and he's probably famous for other things too ... Mark Hamill
Number 25
His father-cum-agent fiddled his taxes and risked imprisonment for both of them, his own club hired "bots" and "mongers" to spread dark rumours about him on social media, his endocrinologist made a small fortune selling stories about his growth hormone deficiency to the papers - yes, with this level of love from family, club and friends alike, there is - as the chant goes - only one Lionel Messi (so let's squeeze as much dosh out of him as possible while the going's good).
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