The Telegraph reports today that, although UK armed forces are "far weaker" than they were during the Falklands conflict, we could still "cripple" Spain (Part 2)

nordmann wrote:

Uncertainty over Brexit caused Ryanair to cut down on their UK operations.

Jim thought that he’d found the perfect place to avoid all referenda and elections and also all talk of same until the message came down the communication cable saying that the ship’s company was equally divided between those who wanted cocoa tonite and those who wanted hot chocolate and that cook needed Jim to cast the deciding vote.

Little Known Celebrity Fact No.3546:
Prior to her stellar international movie career, sex bomb Elizabeth Taylor achieved fame first in her native land as the only reigning Pearly Queen from the East End to score a hat-trick in a World Cup Final.

Logging on to a new site a world of adventure opened for Wilhelm never before imagined.

Boris Johnston's new career post election

No witty photo/picture and caption, from Sincerely Thine, sorry folks.  What I paused to add was that the lady in the picture posted by ID does indeed bear a resemblance to BJ.  The part of her leotard around her nether regions is very thongy-looking (I personally hate thongs).  I thought they (thong undies) were a horrible modern invention but looks like they've been existence longer than I believed.  Do we know who the female version of BJ is?

You're not playing by the rules, folks.
ID - you basically challenged yourself. Picture please for the next person?

nordmann wrote:

You're not playing by the rules, folks.
ID - you basically challenged yourself. Picture please for the next person?

How so? All I did was point out the resemblance to BJ and it is up to anyone else to provide the caption.

I can't see how anyone could better that caption. Go on - stick up a pic.

Islanddawn wrote:

Boris Johnston's new career post election

There's something in today's Telegraph entitled "What to wear to a Christening".  (It's actually tagged to William and Kate and the little boy walking through a park).  I never picked up that one had to put another picture up if one commented so I'll have to trawl the internet to see if I can find anything suitable.

nordmann wrote:

I can't see how anyone could better that caption. Go on - stick up a pic.

Oh bugger, I should have hung it up behind the bar then and we could have thrown darts at it or something.

Two "Ten Pound Poms" from Gravelly Bottom, Kent, circa 1950, practice enthusiastically before emigration and their new life in the Antipodes.

The Duke of Clarence and Avondale and his chums understood only too well that their mamas meant it when they said one's duty to the Empire must always come before pleasure.

But gosh, sometimes girls just want to have fun!

Researchers at Facebook's 'Institute for Finding Solutions to Problems that Don't Exist', proudly demonstrate their latest invention: a device to find a needle in a haystack.

By book number seventy-three even Delia herself had to admit she was running out of ideas for new and different recipes ....

Theresa May enthusiastically greets Cabinet with her new mandate to take the realm back to the middle ages.

Philip Larkin was a right misogynist bastard. Just as his girlfriends thought he was about to propose, he would take them away for "a camping holiday" in his Ford Anglia. Then out would come his trusty cosh and with it his favourite punch-line, "That's the way to do it!"

He'd laugh; they'd cry and we all usually got a pretty good poem out of it.



PS For those of you unfamiliar with Larkin:




And he was beastly to his girl-friends:

https://www.theguardian.com/books/2010/oct/23/martin-amis-philip-larkin-letters-monica

Sorry, breaking rules.

Jean-Claude to May: "Zere ist vun ting I can godt assure you of, mein Teresa. Zu vil never be ze subject of a Historical Captions Challenge photo!"

Meanwhile back with the "history" ...

"Now then Brother Promiscuous, we know from the Abbey's wifi that you've got a forbidden i-phone secreted somewhere about your person, and we can clearly match your, ahem, attributes, to your Grindr private profile. But you've been strip-searched twice and we still can't locate it about your person. Come Brother ... wherever have you hidden the damned phone?"

You can't blame me for being cynical, Doggy-Dogs - that's the second time they've put my picture on the Res His Captions thread for all the world (well, at least twelve people) to mock.

But see if I care.

Get up you twit, this is only Gibraltar.

Party Pieces - one of the Middleton family's many successful enterprises - has recently offered us some new and charming decorative ideas. Their new addition to the exciting "Royal Wedding Bunting" range - "Lumpen Proletariat" - (bunting suitable for street celebrations of any happy royal occasion) is here enthusiastically endorsed by Sarah and Ruby of Scotland Road, Bootle.

"Wonderful!"

"So proud to be a part of it all!"

MM, your picture's not showing up for me, just the wee 'unable to load' icon, although I did wait for the page to fully load.

Marcus Lucullus' latest practical joke went too far for some members of the Aventine and District Chariot Spotters Society.
He had promised to show off his latest model and the members were expecting the new 4x4 triple scythe edition. For most of them, this was the first naked woman they had ever seen.


.......................................................................................................................................

Captain Iolanthe Doyly-Carte was a naval officer, a champion for the reform of seamen’s conditions, an explorer, and above all a man with a passionate belief in the team-building power of light opera. As commander of HMS Pinafore he was mentioned in despatches during the 1882 naval bombardment of Alexandria when, under the astonished gaze of the Ottoman defenders his ship assaulted the walls at close range, with all his crew dressed in Japanese costume singing "Behold the Lord High Executioner", from Gilbert and Sullivan's 'The Mikado', and with himself conducting the operation from the quarter-deck dressed in the role of Nanki-Poo. On subsequent early retirement from the navy he threw himself into his twin hobbies of exploration and amateur dramatics, becoming to date the only person to have staged 'The Pirates of Penzance' with full chorus, on the summit of Mont Blanc. His attempt to be the first to cross the Antarctic continent however failed, largely because of his continued insistence on maintaining morale through opera. Laden down with all necessary costumes, wigs, make-up and props the expedition only advanced 53 miles before it ground to a halt. When their snow-bound tent was finally located weeks later by a team from base camp, the rescuers found all the expedition members in good spirits but somewhat bizarrely dressed as Venetian gondoliers, and with Capt. Doyly-Carte in a tall powdered wig and wearing an elaborate farthingale, dancing a gavotte and singing, "On the day that I was wedded", in the role of Duchess of Plaza-Toro.

... well that kept me occupied for a bit while waiting for the late-risers to come down for breakfast.

Mais maintenant pour continuer le thème:

After the incident with the hungry polar bear, Gladys may have lost a husband but she'd gained a pet.  Meanwhile, Napoleon hoped his moustache and flat-cap were an adequate disguise.

****

"Cur non operatur, Lucius?" During the 212 BC conquest of Syracuse Roman legionaries stumbled upon the workshop of Archimedes, where they discovered many wonderful inventions which might have radically changed the world. Unfortunately for the Romans they killed the old man before he could explain how any of them worked.

********

Simple Sally met a Plaidman
Going to the fair
Said Simple Sally to the Plaidman
let me taste your wares

Said the Plaidman to Simply Sally
Show me first your penny
Said Simple Sally to the Plaidman
Sir, I have not any.

Billy and Ricky's project for class "Why We Love Our Mummy" had suddenly taken a very sinister turn ...