Use of gelignite-fuelled fairy-lights was finally outlawed by the New York authorities after the Great Rockefeller Plaza Explosion of December 24th, 1931.

Nord ... I can't get that last image to open.

But no rush you understand ... hang-over and all that ...

Midnight Mass was obviously a blast wherever you were last night.

We'll try this one instead. It's almost the same ...

Definitely time to kick this thread back into life, so .....

When she applied Tesco's Sugar'n'Spice hairspray on Christmas Eve, Tiffany considered it just a bit seasonal fun. She had intended to remove it on Boxing Day, or by Twelfth Night at the very latest. But it wouldn't budge and so Candlemass, Valentine's Day, Shrove Tuseday and Ash Wednesday, all came and passed with her head still encased in nougat. But as Easter loomed she vowed she would finally get rid of it ..... And besides she'd just seen an ad' for Morrison's Choccy-Coiffure-Mélange, due to go on sale on Good Friday.

"Ave Maria, gratia plena, dominus tecum, benedicta tu .... GURGLE GURGLE ...! Spit! Spit! Christ, Mary! Enough of that trick already - it's not bleedin' funny anymore!"

When Zayn Malik quit, One Direction were forced to completely change their image and stage act ..... but naive young girls remained their core fan base.



(... and I think that painting is the wrong way round: a lute is plucked with the right hand, a violin goes under the left chin and a portative organ is played with the right hand).

Bill Buttle seeks to propel himself into the history books by breaking the land speed record on Saturday next. In a practice run along Main Street yesterday, Bill wowed pedestrians with his inventive machine.

Sienna's first experience with match.com proved to be something of a disaster.

Her friends had warned her that profiles could sometimes be "misleading", but goodness, this was ridiculous!

Changed my picture - sorry, ferval, couldn't resist.

You used a Getty image, it seems - they get blocked when re-used via linking.

Hope this one works.

And this here, young Mustafa my lad, is what we expert Egyptologists technically refer to as " L' Entrejambe Royale" ...

I see Ferval has kicked the 'Shakespeare Challenge' thread back into play, so let's also get this thread going again. Sorry the best I can do is ....


In 1907 Donald Wagner, a keen cyclist and campanologist, invented a system by which one’s bicycle bells could not only be made to sound with increasing frequency and complexity in relation to speed, but would introduce additional chords, harmonics and even key changes, the further and the faster one rode. Encouraged by his wife, Wendy Bigg, he set out to manufacture and sell what he informally called ‘Wagner’s Ring Cycle’.

He was aware that a musical bicycle might be thought a bit effeminate, so to avoid anything remotely "wimpy", and so playing on the word 'mach' as suggesting both "machismo" and "mach speed", he thought he’d hit on a sure winner by calling his product "The Mach-Donald". But he rapidly found that the name was already trade-marked. He suggested incorporating his wife’s name to clarify that it was his product alone … and so he proposed the Bigg-Mach, or even the Mach-Donald-Bigg-Mach … but they were also declined, and he was warned he could expect legal action if he ever attempted to use any of those or similar variants.

Back at the drawing board he tried to reduce his invention to its very essence, ie: bells and a tachometer … and so he came up with the name 'Tach-o-Bell'. But again he found himself thwarted. In desperation he tried to get recognition in another country. In Belgium he launched his idea as 'The Quick', and in Germany as the 'Kilometres-fur-Campanile' system which inevitably became known simply as KFC … but again both these names were refused.

In the end WW1 intervened, and post war Mr Wagner’s small family bicycle business was taken over by a Señor Dolmino … who specialised at using Vespa motorbikes for local deliveries

Meles meles wrote:

"Oh, you are awful, Able Seaman Weyward - but we all like you."

(You have to be English to understand this.)

Local farmer Charley Winds celebrates with his prized heifer on wining the blue ribbon (proudly displayed) at the annual live stock show. Competition was stiff this year but judges could not but be impressed with her prime rump he says.

Yet another enthusiastic Res His contributor tries to persuade us all that the delights of meat-eating can be many and varied.

"emm, err, urr, I ... , emm, I mean, urr, err, emm ...."

"Mister Pennygrow - I do wish you wouldn't take that extra strong Viagara before our weekly bridge sessions!"





... I'll go fetch my coat.

Peckham Boys Club were happy now that they knew where milk came from.


..............................................................................................................................

Have you just got time for a cut and blow-dry, or is Zak doing your highlights as well?

Shallow grave? Dismemberment and black bin-bags? Acid bath? F**king decisions, decisions, decisions ...

Nice one, Temp. Let's keep the images historical folks ...

Ghosts Of Christmas Past. Soon playing near you...

The National's production of Oedipus - the Early Years has been - on the whole - praised by the critics. Set in 1950s Corinth, this new musical is an exciting and innovative retelling of an ancient tale. The casting by Jonathan Kent of Elizabeth Hurley as Merope (shown) was a bold - if not entirely successful - move. Hurley's rendition of Somewhere I Know They Wait For You was nevertheless a high spot of the evening's entertainment.

Illustration from "My Lyfe With Cronick Orchitis", by Groot Van Deferens, the famous, if rather mono-themed, 16th century playwright (viz. "Much Ado About Knackers", "Knackers Adronicus", "Taming Of The Knackers", and of course his most popular play at the time "All's Balls That Ends Balls").

MM, I actually posted the above for you - shame you are not around. It's James I - Lord knows what Steenie said when he saw Jamie in those trousers!

nordmann wrote:

Illustration from "My Lyfe With Cronick Orchitis", by Groot Van Deferens, the famous, if rather mono-themed, 16th century playwright (viz. "Much Ado About Knackers", "Knackers Adronicus", "Taming Of The Knackers", and of course his most popular play at the time "All's Balls That Ends Balls").

Would it be in his memory then, that the words to the tune 'Colonel Bogey' by J. Kenneth Alford, as sung by British soldiery in my hearing could be heard as starting with 'Bollocks" - And the same to you.' ?

The Telegraph reports today that, although UK armed forces are "far weaker" than they were during the Falklands conflict, we could still "cripple" Spain.

The Telegraph reports today that, although UK armed forces are "far weaker" than they were during the Falklands conflict, we could still "cripple" Spain (Part 2)