The pained expression and curled toe nails of Harvey is unsurprising, his inability to master the art of music remains one of the great mysteries of the world.

Undaunted by previous setbacks, Fred persisted in using his Chlamydia joke as an ice-breaker at dinner parties.

Well that one was a challenge ... the best I can come up with is:


Unable to suggest a single Aristotelian tragic hero that would pass muster, James took solace in his childhood hero Thumper from Bambi and his eternal words of wisdom: "If you can't say sum'fing nice, best say nuffin at all".

Yo dudes!   ... and so onwards and upwards ......

 

What's that thing in the thing bottom right? Is it a crab or a starfish or something? My eyesight is terrible these days.








Yo.

I dunno .... you tell me, maybe it's a santa in a snow globe ....

Billy knew that he had a serious dilema on his hands when his butt boils began to breed independently.

Well, Matron, it will save a fortune in Intensive Care - we won't need all those complicated machines to sustain the patient's customer's breathing.

The death of Lord and Lady Throgmorton (seen here moments before the fatal crash) was the crucial factor in bringing about Ramsay McDonald's famous 1924 legislation outlawing the use of mobile cinemas while driving.

Vampire slaying is a tradition that has been passed down the female line of Buffy's family for over 600 years. Pictured is 5xgt grandmother, Blodwyn, demonstrating the art.

I can't see your piccy ID, just the dreaded "square argent with saltire gules"  

Does that one work MM?

Not for me.

Now it does.

... and it works for me too, thanks ID.

The prototype Dalkon Shield gave little hint of the serious side effects its more refined design would later inflict on its users.

Brad and Angelina were quick to snap up the latest "Buy one - get one free" offer. They bought one in every colour.

Now THIS is the one to drink with Duchy Original biscuits!

Robertson having already been sacked as unfunny, Royston showed with this "hilarious" cartoon that he would be next to go.

"Oh yes darling, the full works ... after this face peel, I want a back-sack-an'-crack, and then maybe a squirt of collagen in the lips. Oh, and then a bit of botox of course, just to iron it all out. And d'you think I should change the wig too? I've gotta look really sexy if I'm gonna pass for the libidinous Earl of Rochester".

"Ah, gee - if them two critters ain't just so doggone cute!"

Irish president Michael D. Higgins points out to the Duke of Edinburgh the obvious flaw in England's training for penalty shoot-outs.

"Does my bum look big in this?"

Mother, I don't care if he's the living embodiment of the principle of monastic asceticism and devotion to the one true lord. Just make him STOP BLOODY SINGING!

And the Laurence Olivier Award for Best Original Choreography goes to Matthew Bourne for his English National Ballet production of "Cup Final".

I'll put the Millais back, MM - just for you. I just liked the picture of our future King looking like a potential ASBO candidate.

Thanks Temp- I'm not promising I'll come up with anything, but it's still nice to see that thug's muscled buttock and thigh again   

But let's go back to the ASBO in-waiting pic.



'The Sun' sez:
Catherine Windsor, unemployed, on benefits, but also on holiday at tax-payers' expense, shows off the first of what she hopes will be a plentiful brood of state-funded offspring. "I used to work", she says, "but now I don't need to, other people pay for everything, yah!"



.... perhaps that should have been: 'The Daily Mail' says ....

But just to keep the Millais theme going a tad longer:

What in hell do you think that is boys? It is called water and we use it for washing, you should try it sometime. Especially behind your ears.

Lesser Known Facts in First Aid No.6 - Herr Heimlich developed his eponymous anti-choking maneuver whilst trying to earn a few yen as a freelance bantam-weight wrestler in downtown Yokohama.

Bertram knew that if he rode into town buck naked on a goat while carrying a rabbit aloft for all to see then nobody would surely notice the embarrassing fact that he was only wearing one sock.

London policeman caught on camera admiring the curves of two local ladies was suspended from duty without pay for one year.