Try as she might, Ethel just couldn't boost her husband's career as a pianist any further. Dour Donald will now content himself with finding what work he can on the local funeral circuit.

It is generally not appreciated just how young Joe Cocker was when he sang at Woodstock.

Woodbine have announced that they are to sponsor next year's tournament at Wimbledon. Here is an exclusive peek at the slick advertising campaign which will be launced in the New Year.

Sister Eukeria (on the right) always complicated things with her cigarillos, But hey ho! So was it in St Agnes's in those strange hippy "get real" 60S.

Aaawww, I'm not an idiot Dad. That's never the Big Bad Wolf, everyone knows he lives in the forrest not at Disneyland.

Lady Babbington and friends ensure life continues as normal during the Great Horse Strike of 1886.

In a cost cutting measure the German Mounted Police will now be taking to the streets on all new low maintenance horses. The ingenious design require no food, water, care or vetinary bills, and the added bonus of hands free forward mounted cannon will enable police to apprehend criminals in the most expedient and efficient manner possible.

Two weeks into emergency rations and Captain Harris's flatulence problem was taking a turn for the worse.

O nein!

Du meenst dis ist der Conga Legion .... fur die rest und recuperatzie?! Aber I had ge-thoughten that I'd signed up fur die elite Condor Legion!

Scheiße mein Papa, der General, sein wird sehr, sehr aufgeregt.

Pan: "Ah, go on, Daffy. Just one blow. Sure it can't hurt ya! Ah, go on, go on. Ah, go on ..."

The incidence of Greek pipe-blowing addiction sky-rocketed once the fauns moved into the 'hood.

'The Sun' says: "Gotcha!"

Just days before the crucial Rochester by-election there were some ugly scenes as UKIP followers took to the streets. NHS ambulanceman, Gary Bythe, witnessed one particularly nasty confrontation: "It happened so quick, he was just overwhelmed by them all and the poor bloke just collapsed in front of me. Luckily I caught him as he fell and so we got him straight off to A&E as quick as possible. But it must 'ave been a nasty shock ... that grinning Mr Farage suddenly grapping his hand and kissing him in front of all them TV cameras. Oooo ... nasty".

Surgeons and medical staff at the Bromley Institute of Advanced Surgical Techniques in 1927 admire the results of their pioneering "Urinary Tract Restructuring" procedure, first performed in the facility on patient Ali Shabagni Bongo (right). The operation, while a great success, was however to prove unpopular. Especially on public transport.

Professor Carl D. Jung had heard many patients describe their weird - indeed surreal - dreams, but even the good doctor blushed at the possible interpretation of  Wilhelm Wolfenbuttel-Saxe-Weimar-Eisenach's latest offering.

1930s Nazi dilemmas #43

Training junior to goose-step.

Few realise that the modern e-cigarette was actually invented by the US Airforce in the late 1950's as part of their plans for future manned space-flight. After the highly influential 'Malborough Study' it was generally assumed that smoking would have to be compulsory for any future astronauts in order to "calm their nerves", and so the USAAF developed SMOG ... the Self-contained, Methyl-nicotine,  Odourless Generation system ..... astronauts for the use of.

"Honestly, Justus, stop being so bl**dy stupid. I know you want her back, but this isn't going to impress anybody."

It is little appreciated just how anciently tried and trusted some of Tommy Cooper's material actually was ...


(more recent performance from 1980)

Christmas is of course a day for children .... but with a little care there should be enough kiddy cold cuts left over to make a fine dish on Boxing Day too.

Candy's dandy but liquor's quicker.

Yet again the UKIP constituency election committee had to convene to choose a candidate ...

Cartoon strips and the associated genre of the 'Superhero' are generally considered to be unique to 20th century newspapers. But one notable exception was the 17th century broadsheet, "The Loyall Londonner", which during the English Commonwealth regularly contained an on-going illustrated story, featuring the exploits of Pie-Man, a master of pastry-based disguise, together with his mysterious side-kick, Muffin, a mole at the heart of government.

(The illustation above depicts Pie-Man escaping an assassination attempt at an "austere" government banquet, by being disguised as a "greate big Tarte" ).

Of necessity this essentially royalist broadsheet was an underground production, but nevertheless it seems to have been printed and widely distributed weekly throughout 1654-57. And the exploits of Pie-Man and Muffin-the-Mole, as they constantly out-witted the evil puritan Lord Oliver Crumblewell, were avidly followed by a diverse readership … until the clandestine printers in Drury Lane were finally discovered and shut down.

Kim Jong Un and Security Chief Hu The Phuc pay their last respects to "retired" military leader Dun Tu Dung

Jack thought it would be a jolly good wheeze to have himself parcelled up and posted to his beloved as a surprise gift to be delivered on Christmas morning. Unfortunately he missed the last collection for 'Large Parcels' and so Jack, in his box, spent Christmas stuck in the local sorting office. He was eventually delivered on the 27th by which time, feeling thoroughly cramped and crushed, he was unable to spring forth in quite the manner he had originally intended.

Throughout the first four decades of the 20th century use of brussels sprouts for Christmas dinner had grown to record levels. In 1939 the government was finally forced to act. Neville Chamberlain introduced the nationwide issue of protective equipment to every household in the UK in his now infamous "Peas in our time" speech.

The holder of ticket no. 4270 was thrilled when he thought he had won a donkey in the 'Make This Christmas Special Raffle' but less so when he discovered that it was only the set dressing.

"I've always wanted to get my hands on a spirited ass", he was reported as saying, "but instead I'm now saddled with a child. I blame the St Nicholas Orphanage for misleading advertising and am consulting my lawyer".